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♥ Saturday, January 27, 2007
11:29 PM

Im so tired of ppl judging me for who they think i am.
If they think i dont deserve whatever i have now,
I say: TOO BAD. LIVE WITH IT.

I too am unsatisfied with lotsa stuff.
What else can i do?
Shut my trap and just live life the best i can.

And FYI, i have alot of things troubling me now too.
If you have "personal problems", it seems as though ONLY YOU have personal problems and noone else does.
Alot of things require self-sacrifice, and that is the thing that Singaporean youth dont have anymore.

Shoot me for all you like.
Shoot me IN MY FACE.
Dont go behind my back and make it awkward for my friends to break it to me.
Esp Tabby and Bryan Toh.
None of them wanted to tell me, for fear that i will feel "sad".
The only kind of "sadness" i feel is for those who are ignorant, and dont think abt the entire picture.

I admit, i am sad after hearing this. But i knew that this issue would come up sooner or later.
I knew it would be hard to be accepted. I knew it when i entered.
I tried. I tried my best. All that i could.
If i couldnt be accepted as part of your family, that only proves something.
That this isnt as perfect as it looks.
It's nothing but a facade, a fake, a mask put on to show the school that you all are perfect.
Acceptance is not easy, esp after so many years of bonding and suddenly this nobody breaks in and starts criticising on things that she doesnt know alot abt.
I didnt expect to be accepted straight from the beginning, neither did i expect to establish bonds with all of you.
All i wanted to do was see from an "outsider's" opinion. IS THAT WRONG?
If you think that is not the right way of seeing things, i say it is the PERFECT way of looking at you.
If you treat me like an "outsider", then all the more golden my opinion is.

FYI, I ACTUALLY DontGiveAShit.
Why should i have bothered in the first place?
I could actually be less stressed and be less irritated.
But NOOOOO. I had to get myself involved in this.
Call me stupid. But i do things for the interest of the group, not for myself.
I dont even know why i care for everything right now.
I should just go and leave everything to die in the shitplace.