Just came home from church. (:
Learnt this new song - Hear Us From Heaven
Man, it rocks! :D
Hahhaha

HEAR US FROM HEAVEN

Verse:
Lord hear our cry
Come heal our land
Breathe life into our dry and thirsty souls
Lord hear our prayer
Forgive our sin
And as we call on Your name
Would You make this a place for Your glory to dwell

Chorus:
Open the blind eyes
Unlock the deaf ears
Come to your people
As we draw near
Hear us from Heaven
Touch our generation
We are Your people
Crying out in desperation

Bridge:
Hear us form Heaven
Hear us from Heaven
Hear us from Heaven

~ church ended at 6.30pm ~

Went to Plaza Sing! :D
Wanted to watch TMNT,
or Stomp the Yard,
or Primeval,
or Meet the Robinsons!

BUT THE TIMINGS ALL SALA!!! ._.
Haiii.
So settled with just walking around.

OOH!
And today is like, the 1st time i ate Yakun Toast. xD
Quite sad lah.. But true.
The half-boiled egg is really good..
But the toast is like..
*so-so*
Oh well, i cant appreciate good stuff. :DD

And ppl,
Pls try to like, keep it under wraps..
Thanks..

the smile on your face lets me know that you need me
there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
the touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever i fall
you say at best, when you say nothing at all. (:

post #268!


:D
Ooooh.
Have been blogging alot lately horh? (:

Urghh.
Dunno why i cant concentrate in class now..
It's like.. I dont quite understand what the teachers are talking abt now. x((
WWHHHYYYY... ...?
Haii. Need to start studying already.
And training!
GONNA GET HARD-ROCK MUSCLES! :DD

WAHAHAHAH! x))
THROBBING VEINS AND BROAD BROAD SHOULDERS!
WHOOSH~!

Okay. Siao liao.
I watched Pocahontas just now. ._.
Although im already 15 years and 9 (coming to 10) months..
I STILL LIKED IT! xDD
I'd rather die tmr,
Then live a hundred years without knowing you.
SO GAN DONG! x))
Haahhhaa.

If I Never Knew You

If I never knew you
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be

And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me.

In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So dry your eyes

And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

If I never knew you
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true

I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night
But still my heart is saying we were right

If I never knew you
There's no moment I regret
If I never felt this love
Since the moment that we met
I would have no inkling of
If our time has gone too fast
How precious life can be...
I've lived at last...

I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright
I thought our love would be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light
And still my heart is saying we were right
We were right

And if I never knew you
If I never knew you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Empty as the sky
Never knowing why
Lost forever
If I never knew you

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This song is so nice!
Hahaha.. Just look at the lyrics. (:

And Gwen Stefani's on TV!
BYEBYE! :D

Went out with Char today to TM! (:

Wanted to watch STOMP THE YARD but the timings of the show were waaayyyy off. xD
So in the end..
Watched NOTHING. x)

Sian diaoo.
I wanna watch TMNT and STOMP THE YARD! :D
Hahhaha..
But this week is super busy..
Except Thursday. x)


Wednesday: Dance & Council Meeting
Thursday: Thursdays with Lammy
Friday: CCA
Saturday: Church
Sunday: Tuition


Urghh!
Ssssooooo tired.... x(

To yoooo~~~:
Obviously you have no idea what's going on. (:
Or you're a junior who's trying to act like a passerby. x)


Cant reply to every tag though..
Hahahha.. Dont know why i just have a tendency to reply those who anyhow tag. xD
AND...!
I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS! :D :D


Who said, who said
I cant be superman
I say, I say
That I know I can. (:

Lalalalalalala i cant hear you.

It's been happy.
Really happy.

Pardon all the empty posts (xD) in the previous posts.
Wonder what's wrong with blogger. (x

Oh well.
Feeling kinda..
MOODSWINGY today.

My maroon braces make my teeth look BLOODY. :D

The only thing i ever did to "outrage" the council juniors was to poke my nose into the stupid PI even though i didnt have to.
The other thing i did to "outrage" them was to give them my freaking honest comments on how i really saw them as an 'outsider' of council and not as a 'friend' of them.
I told them how i really saw them from an outsider's opinion and bloody hell, i even asked my friends what they thought of these ppl and they gave me feedback too.
So i freaking went to compile every bloody information i got and i told them straight up what i felt and how other ppl viewed them, and they take my opinion as being effing biased.

And furthermore, when they came into the AVT after waiting for so long,
NONE of the SMExCo wanted to say anything.
So what do you want me to do?
I didnt want the fucking interviewees to have wasted their "precious" time outside.
So i spoke up for all the SMExCos, whatever they said during the prior meeting.
So fuck! I freaking tell u opinions and waste my fucking saliva and in the end get maliciously attacked by all of the juniors.

IS THAT FAIR TO ME?

Crystal Chan spoke too.
And why isnt she attacked?
COS SHE IS IN EXCO.
AND IM NOT, IM JUST A NORMAL MEMBER.
And by talking too much this is what i get.

To the SMExCo:
I help you all during PI, the least you can do is help defend me.
But you all didnt, you all care more abt "junior welfare".
Ever heard of PEER HELP? PEER WELFARE?
PEER DEFENCE?
Obviously you all care more abt the juniors, helping them "tide through" than helping me.
By helping them, you make them hate me more, and attack me more.
So obviously there isnt any PEER SUPPORT in this case,
So fine. I really dont care anymore.

I shouldnt have freaking gone into council.
If you wanted me to go in and do my part, what fucking part do you want me to do?
Help the SMExCo and go for meetings to plan activities?
Or do you want me to be like you all, dont go for any meetings at all and just DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD?
Well, of course fucking not.
Because council trains you to be leaders.
And i dont see how just doing what you're told is being a fucking leader.
I see a leader as someone planning the work behind-the-scenes while going for meetings.
Not just playing the games, not just being an orientation leader.
But by being the freaking planner.

And second of all, why do my dance juniors dislike me?
Oh, maybe it's cos i have been instructed by my teacher to fucking SCOLD THEM?
It's not like i like to fucking scold ppl right.
It's not like i wanna make them dislike me.

But fucking hell!
All i did was do what my teacher told me (for dance) and give my fucking honest opinions (for PI).
In what fucking way do you call that offensive?

If you think all my juniors dislike me, fine.
But whether the seniors dislike the juniors, that's another matter.

ASK!
ASK EVERY FUCKING SEC 4 IN DANCE!
ASK THEM ABT THAT PARTICULAR GROUP.
JUST ASK.
YOU SEE WHAT THEY SAY.

AND ABOUT COUNCIL JUNIORS,
FINE. GOT PPL DEFEND THEM.
BUT IS THERE ANYONE TO HELP ME?
NO. ALWAYS "CHILL.. RELAX.."
And then the matter fades into obscurity.
Ppl expect me to fucking chill and fucking relax everytime i see a fucking junior post a fucking bad comment, or insult abt me?
Well, i cant take it hands down.
IM NOT GONNA CHILL, IM NOT GONNA RELAX.
THIS MATTER ISNT GONNA REST.

Alot of ppl treat this stupid thing as a fucking joke.
Well it's not.
And the last straw came when jinni accused me of shedding crocodile tears after lao shi lectured us.
Minghui cries badly, it's real.
I cry, and it's fake.
I didnt cry out of sadness, i cried out of anger.
And you have to fucking right to fucking tell me that i shed crocodile tears because you are not in my fucking shoes and you dont know the fucking stress im fucking facing.

JOKE! JOKE AROUND ABT THIS MATTER.
But it's not a fucking joke.
Maybe that's how everyone treats things now..
AS A HUGE MUTHAFUCKING JOKE.
Well it's not.
And "CHILLING".. Is not exactly that way you handle it.

You can tag.. And joke.. And ask me to relax and chill and say i still have "him"..
Well thanks.
Dont treat this matter seriously.
Fine. Dont. Cos it's not YOUR problem, or that's what you think.

But this girl is under your COMMITTEE.
She is under you and you should try and handle this problem together with the other comm head.
Not to just tell me to "relax".
Because i cant.
Because someone just accused me of being FAKE.

Tell me how you feel when you're genuinely sad and angry.
Your friend is crying hopelessly, and your heart cant take it anymore.
You cry, yes you do.
But SOMEWAY OR ANOTHER, A BUNCH OF CHILDISH, SPOILT AND PATHETIC PPL HAVE TO STATE THAT YOU ARE FAKING YOUR EMOTIONS,
THAT YOU ARE CRYING JUST BECAUSE THE OTHER PERSON IS CRYING.

FAKING YOUR EMOTIONS.
FAKING.
FUCKING FAKING.

HOW WILL YOU FUCKING FEEL?!?!?!?

I dont feel a sense of righteousness in this stupid matter.
There is no ONE righteous person who can differentiate what's right and what's wrong.
Everyone's backbone is gone.
Invertebrae.

Btw, joking abt "him" and "me", whatever the fuck you mean,
Is fucking childish.
Sec fours, grow up.


And BEn, whichever BEn you are..
You are not in my situation, so you really dont need to criticize me for using the word fuck in every fucking sentence of mine.
It's my post, it's my keyboard, it's my life.
You dont know MY LIFE.
My standard of English is indeed bad.
How abt you try and find a substitute for every "fuck" or "fucking" that i use?
See if your command of English lords over others.

Oh and btw, it's "exaggerate". Not "exagerrate". (:

WHAT THE FUCK MAN I CANT FUCKING STAND IT ANYMORE.

JINNI LOO.
I CANT STAND YOU ANYMORE;
YOU AND YOUR IMBECILITY.

YOU CAN SAY THAT I FORCED ALL MY FUCKING TEARS OUT.
YOU WANNA TRY AND TAKE MY FUCKING PLACE?
I FUCKING CRIED IN MY MUM'S CAR AND DIDNT STOP CRYING UNTIL I SLEPT.
YOU THINK YOU FUCKING KNOW?
YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCKING SEE HOW I AM AFTER THE FUCKING INCIDENT?
WELL YOU CANT.
COS YOU'RE BLIND.

YOU CAN SAY WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT.
SAY THAT IM FAT, UGLY, WHATEVER THE SHIT YOU WANT
BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?
IM SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THIS FUCKING SHIT.

YOU ARE THE FUCKING JUNIOR AND IM THE FUCKING SENIOR.
I DONT EXPECT YOU TO FUCKING RESPECT ME BUT AT LEAST FUCKING HELL GET YOUR FUCKING FACTS RIGHT.
I KNOW THAT YOU'RE REFERRING TO ME.
YOU DONT HAVE TO DENY IT.

EVERYONE OUT THERE THINKS IT'S BOTH OUR FAULT.
BUT THE FUCKING FACT IS THAT IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
I TRY TO TAKE FUCKING PITY ON YOUR AND THEN YOU FUCKING SAY I AM SO FUCKING "NOBLE".
WHAT THE FUCK.
I DONT NEED THIS FUCKING SHIT YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CRAP.

YOU KNOW WHO SUGGESTED TO PUMP ALL OF YOU 100?
NOT ME.
YOU KNOW WHO SAID YOU DIDNT OPEN THE WINDOWS PROPERLY?
NOT ME.
YOU KNOW WHO SUGGESTED THE PUNISHMENTS FOR ALL OF YOU?
FUCKING NOT ME.
WHO REDUCED THE PUNISHMENT TO 50 AND YOU FUCKING SHOOT ME?
ME.
AND WHAT DO I GET?

SO I DONT FUCKING SEE WHY I AM THE ONE WHO KENA ALL THIS FUCKING CRAP FROM ALL OF YOU.
IS IT COS OF COUNCIL?
THEN SCREW IT.

I HAVE NEVER FUCKING OFFENDED YOU IN MY FUCKING LIFE.
I PUMP YOU?
FUCK MAN, I'D RATHER PUMP A MONKEY'S ASS.
FUCKING HELL!
I FUCKING HELP YOU AND THEN THIS IS HOW YOU FUCKING PAY ME BACK.

I CANT FUCKING STAND IT ANYMORE COS PPL KEEP SAYING IT'S MY FUCKING FAULT.
WELL IT'S NOT.
I ALREADY TRY TO STAND THEM UNTIL I DONT EVEN WANNA GO CLOSE TO THEM AND JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE.
BUT THEY JUST CANT FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE.

I TORTURE MY JUNIORS?
FUCK MAN. WHEN THE FUCK DO I EVER TORTURE THEM?

I PUNISH THEM WHEN IM TOLD AND THAT MAKES ME THE FUCKING BAD GUY.
IM SICK OF BEING THE FUCKING BAD GUY.
IM SICK OF THE FUCKING PI AND IM SICK OF ALL THIS SHIT ALREADY.

FINE. YOU WANT ME TO BE THE FUCKING BAD GUY?
FINE.
KICK ME OUT FROM COUNCIL, FOR ALL I CARE.
BECAUSE IF COUNCIL CAN PRODUCE PPL LIKE JINNI LOO,
THEN COUNCIL CAN JUST FUCK OFF, EAT SHIT AND GO DIE.

I AM NOT TAKING DOWN THIS FUCKING POST BECAUSE I DONT SEE THE NEED TO.
I WANNA SEE JUSTICE DONE TO ME.
I WANNA SEE SHE GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES.
I WANNA SEE HER DIE. HER SOCIAL LIFE RUINED.

IT'S EITHER HER SIDE, OR MY SIDE.
THERE IS NO.. NEGOTIATOR.

AND IF YOU STILL DEFEND HER,
IM SORRY.
YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE.

WORDS IN WHITE, OR IN MY CASE BLACK, ARENT MEANT TO BE SEEN.
ISNT THAT WHAT YOU SAID?
I havent used that word in a long time.
You forced me to.

wonder how many friends im gonna lose.
but i really dont give a damn anymore.

AND WHILE IM IN THIS RANTING MODE EVERYTHING IS GONNA COME OUT JUST THE WAY I WANT IT TO BE.
I'VE HELD THIS IN FOR SO DAMN LONG I CANT HOLD IT IN ANYMORE.


FIRST OF ALL.
COUNCIL.

WHY DO YOU ALL THINK I HAVENT BEEN GOING FOR SO MANY FUCKING MEETINGS?
YOU KNOW WHY?
COS OF THE PI, I'VE FUCKING INCURRED THE WRATH OF ALL THE FUCKING JUNIORS.
THEY COMPLAIN, THEY CURSE, THEY SPAM MY BLOG.
EVEN THOSE THAT WERE OKAY WITH ME BACK THEN ARE NOW NOT FUCKING TALKING TO ME.
THEY FUCKING LISTEN TO THEIR FRIENDS AND THEN THEY'RE FUCKING ANGRY WITH ME FOR WHATEVER FUCKING THINGS I SAID TO THEM IN MY OWN FUCKING HONEST OPINION.

CRYSTAL CHAN WAS RIGHT.
I DIDNT NEED TO SAY SO MANY THINGS.
I DIDNT FUCKING NEED TO FUCKING STAY BACK ON THAT FUCKING DAY TO FUCKING GET FUCKING CRITICIZED BY THE FUCKING INTERVIEWEES.

IM NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN.
BUT AT LEAST LEAVE ME IN PEACE OR A LITTLE FREAKING RECOGNITION IN THIS FUCKING THING.
IM FINE WITH BEING A NORMAL MEMBER WORKING WITH YOU ALL,
BUT THEY'RE NOT.
IM FINE WORKING MY ASS OFF GOING FOR MEETINGS AND PLANNING GAMES AND AT THE END OF IT ALL GET THE SAME POINTS FOR COUNCIL AS THE CHINA SCHOLARS WHO DONT DO ANYTHING AT ALL.
IM FUCKING FINE WITH ALL OF THIS.

BUT I DONT FUCKING NEED THE FUCKING JUNIORS TO FUCKING PISS ME OFF AND MAKE MY FUCKING LIFE FUCKING MISERABLE.
I REALLY DONT FUCKING NEED IT.



SECOND OF ALL.
DANCE.

I CANT FUCKING STAND THE FUCKING JUNIORS ANY FUCKING MORE.
READ THE LAST POST.



DANCE AND COUNCIL.
I WANT TO FUCKING BALANCE BOTH OF THEM BUT I CANT FUCKING CANT COS OF THE FUCKING JUNIORS POKING THEIR FUCKING NOSES IN EVERY FUCKING THING I FUCKING DO.
I AM FUCKING BUAY SONG NOW.
I REALLY CANT HOLD IT IN.
IF I FUCKING HOLD ALL THESE IN IM GONNA FUCKING BURST AND SLASH MY WRIST AND IT'S NOT LIKE THAT FIRST TIME IM FUCKING DOING THAT.
BUT NOW IM NOT SO FUCKING STUPID TO FUCKING DO THAT BECAUSE I HAVE A LIFE.

I PUT DANCE IN FRONT OF COUNCIL AND KENA BY COUNCILLORS.
I PUT COUNCIL BEFORE DANCE AND I KENA BY TEACHER.

SO WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?
FUCKING SLICE MY BODY IN HALF?
IT'S NOT GONNA FUCKING HELP COS I'LL BE FUCKING DEAD BY THEN.

IF YOU CANT STOP A JUNIOR FROM USING VULGARITIES,
THEN WHAT CAN YOU DO TO ME?

KICK ME OUT?
FINE!
BECAUSE AT LEAST I'LL HAVE MY MIND AND MY BODY INTACT.
SO YOU CAN FUCKING SUE ME FOR WHATEVER FUCKING THING I FUCKING SAID.
YOU CAN GET ANGRY, IM NOT SAYING YOU CANT.
BUT FIND MY FAULT IN THIS ENTIRE FUCKING MATTER.

THAT TIME I REALLY WANTED TO QUIT COUNCIL.
YOU KNOW WHY?
IT WASNT COS I COULDNT TAKE THE SPAMMING THING.
THAT'S NOT IT.

IT'S COS I COULDNT TAKE IT BEING INSULTED HANDS DOWN.
I COULDNT TAKE IT THAT PPL KNEW WHO THE PERPETRATORS WERE BUT REFUSED TO TELL ME.
BUT, THE PERSON HAD TO CHOOSE TO SIDE ME OR THE PERPETRATORS.
EITHER OR.
I DIDNT WANT THE PERSON WHO KNEW TO TELL ME AND CAUSE A PROBLEM WITH THE PERSON WHO TOLD HIM.SO I CHOSE TO JUST QUIT.
TO LOOK LIKE I FUCKING GAVE UP AND I FUCKING LOST.

I DIDNT WANT MY FRIENDS TO LOSE THEIR FRIENDS ON THE EITHER SIDE.
WHY NOT JUST LOSE ME?
I DIDNT REALLY CARE THEN.

ALL THOSE ENCOURAGERS ON MY BLOG..
SOME ARE FAKE, SOME ARE REAL.
SOME ACTUALLY KNEW WHO THOSE PPL WERE, BUT REFUSED TO TELL ME.
AND I TOOK IT.. THAT THEY WERE ON THEIR OTHER FRIEND'S SIDE.
AND THIS DEEP WRENCHING IN MY HEART JUST WOULDNT STOP PERSISTING.

GIVING UP WAS ALL IT TOOK TO RELEASE THAT.
I REALLY WANTED TO.
BUT MR CHUA DIDNT ALLOW ME.

I FUCKING TRY AND MAKE SACRIFACES.
AND I GET ALL THESE BACK.
I JUST DONT GET IT.
I REALLY JUST DONT GET IT.

bursting; flooding
wrenching; twisting
pain; anger

First of all, i wanna say a big SORRY to Zoe and Estee for not doing my share of the English proj. ):
Really really sorry..
Dont be mad at me k! x(


Second of all,

CHEER UP SAPOK! (:
Dont feel sad anymore.
Because if you keep thinking it's your fault,
Then it's my fault too.

You gave so much, and used so much of your energy, unlike me.
Anything wrong should be mine.
Because i never really did my part.

You gotta be happy if we wanna pull through this together k? :D
Love you girl. ((:

WAY BACK INTO LOVE

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need 'em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Ohhhhh... ...

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end



i said i wasnt gonna lose my head
but then pop! goes my heart. :D

post number #260!
oooh. time flies. xD


School's reopening tmr!
OH MY GOSHHHH.... ....
This week has been like, super "eventful".
._.


Monday:
SS outing to Supreme Court at 7.40am (tio scam!).
At supreme court.
Went back sch for lunch and study.
Dance from 1 to 6.30pm.

Tuesday:
Met Minghui and Yaqi to study in sch at 9am.
Dance from 1 to 6.30pm.

Wednesday:
Met Minghui and Yaqi in sch to study at 9am.
Dance from 12 to 6.30pm.

Thursday:
Chem makeup class in sch at 7.30am.
Do hmk alone ():) till 12pm.
Met Minghui and Yaqi to go to dance.
Dance from 1 to 6.30pm.

Friday:
Woke up for breakfast with mum.
Went home.
Do hmk.
- the whole day just passed like that! gosh -

Saturday:
Woke up to go out in the morning.
Watched MUSIC AND LYRICS!
:D Nice show. (:
Went to church at City Harvest.
From 5pm to 11pm.

Sunday:
Woke up for brunch with mum and bro.
Tuition from 2pm to 4pm.
Reached home.
Did hmk.
Watched Phantom Of The Opera! (again)
Did somemore hmk.

NOW BLOGGING! :D:D:D
Hahhhaa!

Church has told me not to bear grudges in my heart.
Prayed to the Lord, asked him to help me repent.
Now my heart doesnt feel as heavy as before. (:

Yes, Hengxin, you were right..
It was both parties' fault.
But at least im not as childish to spam ppl's blogs..
They can think that it's me,
They can think that i'll stoop down to their level.
But i wont ever do that.
Not since sec one, not since i was childish.

I will only remain anonymous if i want to encourage that person without letting that person know who i am.
But i will never resort to underhanded, cowardly, and hum ji means to put ppl down.


The only BAD thing abt this holiday (if you can call it one) is... ...

MY HMK ISNT DONE YET!
URGHHHHH!!
Sure kena left right centre by teachers one. ):


But overall, it was an enjoyable week.
(: THANK YOU.

Tired.
._.

Just reached home after leaving the house at 7 in the morning.
Super tired now.
-dead-

After dance today,
While helping someone to open the dance cupboard..
The table that was blocking the cupboard came flying down, smooshing my big toe.
Urghhh..
The toe is like turning purple now.
Sick..

Watched sister's performance.
Tired.
Hahahha..
But enjoyed every moment of it. :D

Goodnight! (:

HO YEAH! :D
YOU GOT PWNED (:

YES!
I HAVE BOUGHT MY BIBLE.
:DDDDD


And my feet are swellllling.
Gahhhh.
I GOT PWNED BY MY MUM!!!
NOOOOOO

Dance today was TIRING!
Oh gosh.
My feet are swollen after 5 and a half hours of dance.
Pain. ):
Hahahaha..

It's gonna be like that for the next 3 days.
Urgh.
Especially facing a bunch of AP KIAS
who have NO LIFE WHATSOEVER
going around SPAMMING PPL'S BLOGS WITH VULGARITIES
and TALKING LOUDLY DURING DANCE DISTURBING EVERYONE ELSE
and BEING CHILDISH,
CALLING PPL NAMES
and COMING UP WITH STUPID STORIES LIKE BLOWING UP SOMEONE'S BLUE VAN.

I mean, HOW CHILDISH CAN THEY GET?

APing seniors was a taboo when i was sec one.
I was freakin scared of my seniors until i didnt even dare to talk back to them.
I didnt even dare to joke with them.

Now, they even dare to SCOLD their seniors.
Like (excuse the vulgarities but that's what they said) kanina.. Bitch etc.

Isnt the batch now terribly sad and PATHETIC?

I mean, you all have a really bad attitude.
And you blame us for being biased against you all.
PATHETIC SPOILT BRATS.

That's why we torture you. :D
And it gives me great pleasure to pump you
EVERY SINGLE DANCE PRACTICE FROM NOW TILL I STEP DOWN.
I'll be stepping down anyway.
So, who cares whether i get complains by parents? *rolls eyes*

You can call me a biatch or whatever..
But I DONT CARE! WOOTS!

If im frustrated or what..
A-pumping you all will get. (:

Unless you all d-bla or whatever you call yourselves change your attitudes, dont expect me not to be biased against you. :DD
AND!
If you cont AP-ing me..
THE MORE I'LL TORTURE YOU.
Direct variation.
Simple. (:

OH YAYYYYY!!!!!!!
I AM GOING FOR HIGH TEA AT RITZ CARLTON/FULLERTON NEXT/NEXT NEXT WEEK!!
WOOOOOOOOTS~

Hahhaa.
Super highness. (:






And if I need a rhythm
Gonna be to my heart I listen
Ramalama Bang Bang
Flash Bang Big Bang
Bing Bong Ding Dong Dum Dum Do Dum

4C ROCKS!
WE OWN!!!!


Most of our CA results were like..
Cut by half?

All those ppl who thought that 3C/4C was hopeless..
HAH! BITE MY DUST! (:

MOODY AGAIN! ):



Hate feeling down.

And oh gosh do i hate my juniors. (Dont ask.)
I am so close to just.. URGH.



Sigh. Dont know whether should still go UK. ):

Mood now: ):


Watched Cheung Cheng Main vs Ngee Ann bball finals just now.
CCHMS won! :D
After so long in AHS, this is the first time i've stayed to watch an entire bball match.
*pats own back*
Another thing done before i leave AHS.

OOH! UK TRIP!
EVERYONE can go now! :DD
Yayyyyy!!!!!
But the price is like..
$2898. O.O
$$$$$$$$$

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alot of ppl have a super wrong impression now.
We are just friends.
Seriously. There's nothing going on between us.
Words hurt, harm, and destroy.


i wont forget all the ones that i love
though it's not easy to tell you goodbye

Hahha seriously guys, im not so despo over him! x))
Im just FAHUACHIING over him. :D


Founder's Day. *rolls eyes*
Nothing much to say.
Well, let's just say that i've changed my bday to today too.. sooo...


HAPPY BDAY TO ME! and all those who changed their bdays to today too. X)
Im 16! WOOTS! Hhahhaha lol (obviously this is just to suan something.. (:)

It was quite waste time though,
BUT! They estimated us to end at around 4.30pm..
We ended at 3.30pm! :DD
Hahahhaha! Happyness.

But of course, in a happy day, there are of course,
Depressing moments. ):
Our trip to UK may not be able to commence.
The criteria to go is that you must be able to:
- pass your 2006 EOYs
- pass every subj of your 2007 CA1
- have a good discipline record
- have no impt CCA sessions during the duration of the trip

And i passed every criteria! *pats own head*
Which means im a goodie-two-shoes ._.
BLEAH.
The thing is....

My friends who are accompanying me on this trip are not exactly "GOODIE-TWO-SHOES".
): So im afraid of going there alone..
Or worse! with the sec threes *rolls eyes*
Hopefully Ms Cheong *blink blink* will loosen the criteria so that all of them can go..
AND WE ALL CAN HAVE FUN! :D

Super moodswing today.
Happy to Tired to Emo to Inspired to Tired to Happy to Emo.

Byebye ppl... ...


With shadows I spend it all
My heart and I have decided to end it all

ZOE DIDNT COME SCH TODAY! )):
Take care and get well soon girl. :DD

Kept coughing like crazy today.
Couldnt even talk properly without coughing every 30 sec.
Didnt even form a coherant paragraph. ):

And..
THANKS TO ESTEE FOR LISTENING TO WHAT'S BEEN BUGGING ME FOR A LONG LONG TIME. (:
It didnt seem like it was a huge problem when i told you,
But it's been pulling at my heart for a long time now.

Feeling EMO now leh!
Hhahaha.. Must be the meds. (:
GOODNIGHT! and GOODBYE!

Posting lesser than usual..
Which is a GOOD THING. :D

4C outing yesterday! Went to Mr Ong's house. ((:
In the morning i went out and watched The Pursuit Of Happyness, which is such a FREAKIN' NICE SHOW. :DD
It's basically abt this dude who got poor cos he was dumb and invested in a stupid thing, and he got rich cos he finally became SMART by becoming a stockbroker!! :DD
-the end-
Hahhaha lol.

I estimated the show to end around 3.30pm, so i could rush down to Tanah Merah and pick the ppl who were meeting me up,
But, the show ended at 4pm. ._.
So i called Tabby and she agreed to bring them there first.
THANKS TABBY!

I met Bryan Yeo at the MRT there cos he was late too.
Then, we got lost on the way to Mr Ong's house.
LOL. Walked for around... ... 15? 20 min?
Haahha.

When we finally got there, i changed and jumped into the pool.

Then, BBQ! :DD
I ate very little cos my throat pain. )):
Just sat around.
Afterwards, we were listening to Jay Chou songs in the rain..
And then i thought of Chiang Rai.
Felt super sad. ))):

We lo-heied.. THEN SWIM AGAIN!
LOL.
I heard the story abt a maid who drowned in the pool and got kinda freaked out.
Didnt dare to swim to the other end of the pool which was 2.5m. xDD

Alot of ppl kena ponded.. EXCEPT ME!
I got pulled in cos i was trying to be a nice person.
(It doesnt pay to be nice)

Slacked.. Talked around..
And then, went home!
Such a fun day, the funnest in a long long time. :D
THANK YOU 4C! I LOVE YOU GUYS! :D

I'll post more pictures up next time!
Time to study!
Byebye! :DD

NALINA! :D
officially16!(:
2/6/91
gemini
anglican high school
1F 'o4; 2F 'o5; 3C 'o6; 4C'o7!
dance society
student council } publicity
nalz123_321@hotmail.com
Friendster
True Friend Test
Johari Window
Nohari Window
I am worth $1,708,230!



GIVE ME MORE HUGS(:
Get your own hugs! :D

five months! :D

I LOVE ♥
4C'o7! :D
3C'o6!;
Dancing
Family
Losing weight
Chocolates
Sweets
Listening to crap songs
Chris Daughtry (:
BLAKE LEWIS! (:
MY BABY! :D :D

Just came home from church. (:
Learnt this new song - Hear Us From Heaven
Man, it rocks! :D
Hahhaha

HEAR US FROM HEAVEN

Verse:
Lord hear our cry
Come heal our land
Breathe life into our dry and thirsty souls
Lord hear our prayer
Forgive our sin
And as we call on Your name
Would You make this a place for Your glory to dwell

Chorus:
Open the blind eyes
Unlock the deaf ears
Come to your people
As we draw near
Hear us from Heaven
Touch our generation
We are Your people
Crying out in desperation

Bridge:
Hear us form Heaven
Hear us from Heaven
Hear us from Heaven

~ church ended at 6.30pm ~

Went to Plaza Sing! :D
Wanted to watch TMNT,
or Stomp the Yard,
or Primeval,
or Meet the Robinsons!

BUT THE TIMINGS ALL SALA!!! ._.
Haiii.
So settled with just walking around.

OOH!
And today is like, the 1st time i ate Yakun Toast. xD
Quite sad lah.. But true.
The half-boiled egg is really good..
But the toast is like..
*so-so*
Oh well, i cant appreciate good stuff. :DD

And ppl,
Pls try to like, keep it under wraps..
Thanks..

the smile on your face lets me know that you need me
there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
the touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever i fall
you say at best, when you say nothing at all. (:

post #268!


:D
Ooooh.
Have been blogging alot lately horh? (:

Urghh.
Dunno why i cant concentrate in class now..
It's like.. I dont quite understand what the teachers are talking abt now. x((
WWHHHYYYY... ...?
Haii. Need to start studying already.
And training!
GONNA GET HARD-ROCK MUSCLES! :DD

WAHAHAHAH! x))
THROBBING VEINS AND BROAD BROAD SHOULDERS!
WHOOSH~!

Okay. Siao liao.
I watched Pocahontas just now. ._.
Although im already 15 years and 9 (coming to 10) months..
I STILL LIKED IT! xDD
I'd rather die tmr,
Then live a hundred years without knowing you.
SO GAN DONG! x))
Haahhhaa.

If I Never Knew You

If I never knew you
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be

And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me.

In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So dry your eyes

And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

If I never knew you
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true

I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night
But still my heart is saying we were right

If I never knew you
There's no moment I regret
If I never felt this love
Since the moment that we met
I would have no inkling of
If our time has gone too fast
How precious life can be...
I've lived at last...

I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright
I thought our love would be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light
And still my heart is saying we were right
We were right

And if I never knew you
If I never knew you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Empty as the sky
Never knowing why
Lost forever
If I never knew you

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This song is so nice!
Hahaha.. Just look at the lyrics. (:

And Gwen Stefani's on TV!
BYEBYE! :D

Went out with Char today to TM! (:

Wanted to watch STOMP THE YARD but the timings of the show were waaayyyy off. xD
So in the end..
Watched NOTHING. x)

Sian diaoo.
I wanna watch TMNT and STOMP THE YARD! :D
Hahhaha..
But this week is super busy..
Except Thursday. x)


Wednesday: Dance & Council Meeting
Thursday: Thursdays with Lammy
Friday: CCA
Saturday: Church
Sunday: Tuition


Urghh!
Ssssooooo tired.... x(

To yoooo~~~:
Obviously you have no idea what's going on. (:
Or you're a junior who's trying to act like a passerby. x)


Cant reply to every tag though..
Hahahha.. Dont know why i just have a tendency to reply those who anyhow tag. xD
AND...!
I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS! :D :D


Who said, who said
I cant be superman
I say, I say
That I know I can. (:

Lalalalalalala i cant hear you.

It's been happy.
Really happy.

Pardon all the empty posts (xD) in the previous posts.
Wonder what's wrong with blogger. (x

Oh well.
Feeling kinda..
MOODSWINGY today.

My maroon braces make my teeth look BLOODY. :D

The only thing i ever did to "outrage" the council juniors was to poke my nose into the stupid PI even though i didnt have to.
The other thing i did to "outrage" them was to give them my freaking honest comments on how i really saw them as an 'outsider' of council and not as a 'friend' of them.
I told them how i really saw them from an outsider's opinion and bloody hell, i even asked my friends what they thought of these ppl and they gave me feedback too.
So i freaking went to compile every bloody information i got and i told them straight up what i felt and how other ppl viewed them, and they take my opinion as being effing biased.

And furthermore, when they came into the AVT after waiting for so long,
NONE of the SMExCo wanted to say anything.
So what do you want me to do?
I didnt want the fucking interviewees to have wasted their "precious" time outside.
So i spoke up for all the SMExCos, whatever they said during the prior meeting.
So fuck! I freaking tell u opinions and waste my fucking saliva and in the end get maliciously attacked by all of the juniors.

IS THAT FAIR TO ME?

Crystal Chan spoke too.
And why isnt she attacked?
COS SHE IS IN EXCO.
AND IM NOT, IM JUST A NORMAL MEMBER.
And by talking too much this is what i get.

To the SMExCo:
I help you all during PI, the least you can do is help defend me.
But you all didnt, you all care more abt "junior welfare".
Ever heard of PEER HELP? PEER WELFARE?
PEER DEFENCE?
Obviously you all care more abt the juniors, helping them "tide through" than helping me.
By helping them, you make them hate me more, and attack me more.
So obviously there isnt any PEER SUPPORT in this case,
So fine. I really dont care anymore.

I shouldnt have freaking gone into council.
If you wanted me to go in and do my part, what fucking part do you want me to do?
Help the SMExCo and go for meetings to plan activities?
Or do you want me to be like you all, dont go for any meetings at all and just DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD?
Well, of course fucking not.
Because council trains you to be leaders.
And i dont see how just doing what you're told is being a fucking leader.
I see a leader as someone planning the work behind-the-scenes while going for meetings.
Not just playing the games, not just being an orientation leader.
But by being the freaking planner.

And second of all, why do my dance juniors dislike me?
Oh, maybe it's cos i have been instructed by my teacher to fucking SCOLD THEM?
It's not like i like to fucking scold ppl right.
It's not like i wanna make them dislike me.

But fucking hell!
All i did was do what my teacher told me (for dance) and give my fucking honest opinions (for PI).
In what fucking way do you call that offensive?

If you think all my juniors dislike me, fine.
But whether the seniors dislike the juniors, that's another matter.

ASK!
ASK EVERY FUCKING SEC 4 IN DANCE!
ASK THEM ABT THAT PARTICULAR GROUP.
JUST ASK.
YOU SEE WHAT THEY SAY.

AND ABOUT COUNCIL JUNIORS,
FINE. GOT PPL DEFEND THEM.
BUT IS THERE ANYONE TO HELP ME?
NO. ALWAYS "CHILL.. RELAX.."
And then the matter fades into obscurity.
Ppl expect me to fucking chill and fucking relax everytime i see a fucking junior post a fucking bad comment, or insult abt me?
Well, i cant take it hands down.
IM NOT GONNA CHILL, IM NOT GONNA RELAX.
THIS MATTER ISNT GONNA REST.

Alot of ppl treat this stupid thing as a fucking joke.
Well it's not.
And the last straw came when jinni accused me of shedding crocodile tears after lao shi lectured us.
Minghui cries badly, it's real.
I cry, and it's fake.
I didnt cry out of sadness, i cried out of anger.
And you have to fucking right to fucking tell me that i shed crocodile tears because you are not in my fucking shoes and you dont know the fucking stress im fucking facing.

JOKE! JOKE AROUND ABT THIS MATTER.
But it's not a fucking joke.
Maybe that's how everyone treats things now..
AS A HUGE MUTHAFUCKING JOKE.
Well it's not.
And "CHILLING".. Is not exactly that way you handle it.

You can tag.. And joke.. And ask me to relax and chill and say i still have "him"..
Well thanks.
Dont treat this matter seriously.
Fine. Dont. Cos it's not YOUR problem, or that's what you think.

But this girl is under your COMMITTEE.
She is under you and you should try and handle this problem together with the other comm head.
Not to just tell me to "relax".
Because i cant.
Because someone just accused me of being FAKE.

Tell me how you feel when you're genuinely sad and angry.
Your friend is crying hopelessly, and your heart cant take it anymore.
You cry, yes you do.
But SOMEWAY OR ANOTHER, A BUNCH OF CHILDISH, SPOILT AND PATHETIC PPL HAVE TO STATE THAT YOU ARE FAKING YOUR EMOTIONS,
THAT YOU ARE CRYING JUST BECAUSE THE OTHER PERSON IS CRYING.

FAKING YOUR EMOTIONS.
FAKING.
FUCKING FAKING.

HOW WILL YOU FUCKING FEEL?!?!?!?

I dont feel a sense of righteousness in this stupid matter.
There is no ONE righteous person who can differentiate what's right and what's wrong.
Everyone's backbone is gone.
Invertebrae.

Btw, joking abt "him" and "me", whatever the fuck you mean,
Is fucking childish.
Sec fours, grow up.


And BEn, whichever BEn you are..
You are not in my situation, so you really dont need to criticize me for using the word fuck in every fucking sentence of mine.
It's my post, it's my keyboard, it's my life.
You dont know MY LIFE.
My standard of English is indeed bad.
How abt you try and find a substitute for every "fuck" or "fucking" that i use?
See if your command of English lords over others.

Oh and btw, it's "exaggerate". Not "exagerrate". (:

WHAT THE FUCK MAN I CANT FUCKING STAND IT ANYMORE.

JINNI LOO.
I CANT STAND YOU ANYMORE;
YOU AND YOUR IMBECILITY.

YOU CAN SAY THAT I FORCED ALL MY FUCKING TEARS OUT.
YOU WANNA TRY AND TAKE MY FUCKING PLACE?
I FUCKING CRIED IN MY MUM'S CAR AND DIDNT STOP CRYING UNTIL I SLEPT.
YOU THINK YOU FUCKING KNOW?
YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCKING SEE HOW I AM AFTER THE FUCKING INCIDENT?
WELL YOU CANT.
COS YOU'RE BLIND.

YOU CAN SAY WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT.
SAY THAT IM FAT, UGLY, WHATEVER THE SHIT YOU WANT
BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?
IM SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THIS FUCKING SHIT.

YOU ARE THE FUCKING JUNIOR AND IM THE FUCKING SENIOR.
I DONT EXPECT YOU TO FUCKING RESPECT ME BUT AT LEAST FUCKING HELL GET YOUR FUCKING FACTS RIGHT.
I KNOW THAT YOU'RE REFERRING TO ME.
YOU DONT HAVE TO DENY IT.

EVERYONE OUT THERE THINKS IT'S BOTH OUR FAULT.
BUT THE FUCKING FACT IS THAT IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
I TRY TO TAKE FUCKING PITY ON YOUR AND THEN YOU FUCKING SAY I AM SO FUCKING "NOBLE".
WHAT THE FUCK.
I DONT NEED THIS FUCKING SHIT YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CRAP.

YOU KNOW WHO SUGGESTED TO PUMP ALL OF YOU 100?
NOT ME.
YOU KNOW WHO SAID YOU DIDNT OPEN THE WINDOWS PROPERLY?
NOT ME.
YOU KNOW WHO SUGGESTED THE PUNISHMENTS FOR ALL OF YOU?
FUCKING NOT ME.
WHO REDUCED THE PUNISHMENT TO 50 AND YOU FUCKING SHOOT ME?
ME.
AND WHAT DO I GET?

SO I DONT FUCKING SEE WHY I AM THE ONE WHO KENA ALL THIS FUCKING CRAP FROM ALL OF YOU.
IS IT COS OF COUNCIL?
THEN SCREW IT.

I HAVE NEVER FUCKING OFFENDED YOU IN MY FUCKING LIFE.
I PUMP YOU?
FUCK MAN, I'D RATHER PUMP A MONKEY'S ASS.
FUCKING HELL!
I FUCKING HELP YOU AND THEN THIS IS HOW YOU FUCKING PAY ME BACK.

I CANT FUCKING STAND IT ANYMORE COS PPL KEEP SAYING IT'S MY FUCKING FAULT.
WELL IT'S NOT.
I ALREADY TRY TO STAND THEM UNTIL I DONT EVEN WANNA GO CLOSE TO THEM AND JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE.
BUT THEY JUST CANT FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE.

I TORTURE MY JUNIORS?
FUCK MAN. WHEN THE FUCK DO I EVER TORTURE THEM?

I PUNISH THEM WHEN IM TOLD AND THAT MAKES ME THE FUCKING BAD GUY.
IM SICK OF BEING THE FUCKING BAD GUY.
IM SICK OF THE FUCKING PI AND IM SICK OF ALL THIS SHIT ALREADY.

FINE. YOU WANT ME TO BE THE FUCKING BAD GUY?
FINE.
KICK ME OUT FROM COUNCIL, FOR ALL I CARE.
BECAUSE IF COUNCIL CAN PRODUCE PPL LIKE JINNI LOO,
THEN COUNCIL CAN JUST FUCK OFF, EAT SHIT AND GO DIE.

I AM NOT TAKING DOWN THIS FUCKING POST BECAUSE I DONT SEE THE NEED TO.
I WANNA SEE JUSTICE DONE TO ME.
I WANNA SEE SHE GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES.
I WANNA SEE HER DIE. HER SOCIAL LIFE RUINED.

IT'S EITHER HER SIDE, OR MY SIDE.
THERE IS NO.. NEGOTIATOR.

AND IF YOU STILL DEFEND HER,
IM SORRY.
YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE.

WORDS IN WHITE, OR IN MY CASE BLACK, ARENT MEANT TO BE SEEN.
ISNT THAT WHAT YOU SAID?
I havent used that word in a long time.
You forced me to.

wonder how many friends im gonna lose.
but i really dont give a damn anymore.

AND WHILE IM IN THIS RANTING MODE EVERYTHING IS GONNA COME OUT JUST THE WAY I WANT IT TO BE.
I'VE HELD THIS IN FOR SO DAMN LONG I CANT HOLD IT IN ANYMORE.


FIRST OF ALL.
COUNCIL.

WHY DO YOU ALL THINK I HAVENT BEEN GOING FOR SO MANY FUCKING MEETINGS?
YOU KNOW WHY?
COS OF THE PI, I'VE FUCKING INCURRED THE WRATH OF ALL THE FUCKING JUNIORS.
THEY COMPLAIN, THEY CURSE, THEY SPAM MY BLOG.
EVEN THOSE THAT WERE OKAY WITH ME BACK THEN ARE NOW NOT FUCKING TALKING TO ME.
THEY FUCKING LISTEN TO THEIR FRIENDS AND THEN THEY'RE FUCKING ANGRY WITH ME FOR WHATEVER FUCKING THINGS I SAID TO THEM IN MY OWN FUCKING HONEST OPINION.

CRYSTAL CHAN WAS RIGHT.
I DIDNT NEED TO SAY SO MANY THINGS.
I DIDNT FUCKING NEED TO FUCKING STAY BACK ON THAT FUCKING DAY TO FUCKING GET FUCKING CRITICIZED BY THE FUCKING INTERVIEWEES.

IM NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN.
BUT AT LEAST LEAVE ME IN PEACE OR A LITTLE FREAKING RECOGNITION IN THIS FUCKING THING.
IM FINE WITH BEING A NORMAL MEMBER WORKING WITH YOU ALL,
BUT THEY'RE NOT.
IM FINE WORKING MY ASS OFF GOING FOR MEETINGS AND PLANNING GAMES AND AT THE END OF IT ALL GET THE SAME POINTS FOR COUNCIL AS THE CHINA SCHOLARS WHO DONT DO ANYTHING AT ALL.
IM FUCKING FINE WITH ALL OF THIS.

BUT I DONT FUCKING NEED THE FUCKING JUNIORS TO FUCKING PISS ME OFF AND MAKE MY FUCKING LIFE FUCKING MISERABLE.
I REALLY DONT FUCKING NEED IT.



SECOND OF ALL.
DANCE.

I CANT FUCKING STAND THE FUCKING JUNIORS ANY FUCKING MORE.
READ THE LAST POST.



DANCE AND COUNCIL.
I WANT TO FUCKING BALANCE BOTH OF THEM BUT I CANT FUCKING CANT COS OF THE FUCKING JUNIORS POKING THEIR FUCKING NOSES IN EVERY FUCKING THING I FUCKING DO.
I AM FUCKING BUAY SONG NOW.
I REALLY CANT HOLD IT IN.
IF I FUCKING HOLD ALL THESE IN IM GONNA FUCKING BURST AND SLASH MY WRIST AND IT'S NOT LIKE THAT FIRST TIME IM FUCKING DOING THAT.
BUT NOW IM NOT SO FUCKING STUPID TO FUCKING DO THAT BECAUSE I HAVE A LIFE.

I PUT DANCE IN FRONT OF COUNCIL AND KENA BY COUNCILLORS.
I PUT COUNCIL BEFORE DANCE AND I KENA BY TEACHER.

SO WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?
FUCKING SLICE MY BODY IN HALF?
IT'S NOT GONNA FUCKING HELP COS I'LL BE FUCKING DEAD BY THEN.

IF YOU CANT STOP A JUNIOR FROM USING VULGARITIES,
THEN WHAT CAN YOU DO TO ME?

KICK ME OUT?
FINE!
BECAUSE AT LEAST I'LL HAVE MY MIND AND MY BODY INTACT.
SO YOU CAN FUCKING SUE ME FOR WHATEVER FUCKING THING I FUCKING SAID.
YOU CAN GET ANGRY, IM NOT SAYING YOU CANT.
BUT FIND MY FAULT IN THIS ENTIRE FUCKING MATTER.

THAT TIME I REALLY WANTED TO QUIT COUNCIL.
YOU KNOW WHY?
IT WASNT COS I COULDNT TAKE THE SPAMMING THING.
THAT'S NOT IT.

IT'S COS I COULDNT TAKE IT BEING INSULTED HANDS DOWN.
I COULDNT TAKE IT THAT PPL KNEW WHO THE PERPETRATORS WERE BUT REFUSED TO TELL ME.
BUT, THE PERSON HAD TO CHOOSE TO SIDE ME OR THE PERPETRATORS.
EITHER OR.
I DIDNT WANT THE PERSON WHO KNEW TO TELL ME AND CAUSE A PROBLEM WITH THE PERSON WHO TOLD HIM.SO I CHOSE TO JUST QUIT.
TO LOOK LIKE I FUCKING GAVE UP AND I FUCKING LOST.

I DIDNT WANT MY FRIENDS TO LOSE THEIR FRIENDS ON THE EITHER SIDE.
WHY NOT JUST LOSE ME?
I DIDNT REALLY CARE THEN.

ALL THOSE ENCOURAGERS ON MY BLOG..
SOME ARE FAKE, SOME ARE REAL.
SOME ACTUALLY KNEW WHO THOSE PPL WERE, BUT REFUSED TO TELL ME.
AND I TOOK IT.. THAT THEY WERE ON THEIR OTHER FRIEND'S SIDE.
AND THIS DEEP WRENCHING IN MY HEART JUST WOULDNT STOP PERSISTING.

GIVING UP WAS ALL IT TOOK TO RELEASE THAT.
I REALLY WANTED TO.
BUT MR CHUA DIDNT ALLOW ME.

I FUCKING TRY AND MAKE SACRIFACES.
AND I GET ALL THESE BACK.
I JUST DONT GET IT.
I REALLY JUST DONT GET IT.

bursting; flooding
wrenching; twisting
pain; anger

First of all, i wanna say a big SORRY to Zoe and Estee for not doing my share of the English proj. ):
Really really sorry..
Dont be mad at me k! x(


Second of all,

CHEER UP SAPOK! (:
Dont feel sad anymore.
Because if you keep thinking it's your fault,
Then it's my fault too.

You gave so much, and used so much of your energy, unlike me.
Anything wrong should be mine.
Because i never really did my part.

You gotta be happy if we wanna pull through this together k? :D
Love you girl. ((:

WAY BACK INTO LOVE

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need 'em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Ohhhhh... ...

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end



i said i wasnt gonna lose my head
but then pop! goes my heart. :D

post number #260!
oooh. time flies. xD


School's reopening tmr!
OH MY GOSHHHH.... ....
This week has been like, super "eventful".
._.


Monday:
SS outing to Supreme Court at 7.40am (tio scam!).
At supreme court.
Went back sch for lunch and study.
Dance from 1 to 6.30pm.

Tuesday:
Met Minghui and Yaqi to study in sch at 9am.
Dance from 1 to 6.30pm.

Wednesday:
Met Minghui and Yaqi in sch to study at 9am.
Dance from 12 to 6.30pm.

Thursday:
Chem makeup class in sch at 7.30am.
Do hmk alone ():) till 12pm.
Met Minghui and Yaqi to go to dance.
Dance from 1 to 6.30pm.

Friday:
Woke up for breakfast with mum.
Went home.
Do hmk.
- the whole day just passed like that! gosh -

Saturday:
Woke up to go out in the morning.
Watched MUSIC AND LYRICS!
:D Nice show. (:
Went to church at City Harvest.
From 5pm to 11pm.

Sunday:
Woke up for brunch with mum and bro.
Tuition from 2pm to 4pm.
Reached home.
Did hmk.
Watched Phantom Of The Opera! (again)
Did somemore hmk.

NOW BLOGGING! :D:D:D
Hahhhaa!

Church has told me not to bear grudges in my heart.
Prayed to the Lord, asked him to help me repent.
Now my heart doesnt feel as heavy as before. (:

Yes, Hengxin, you were right..
It was both parties' fault.
But at least im not as childish to spam ppl's blogs..
They can think that it's me,
They can think that i'll stoop down to their level.
But i wont ever do that.
Not since sec one, not since i was childish.

I will only remain anonymous if i want to encourage that person without letting that person know who i am.
But i will never resort to underhanded, cowardly, and hum ji means to put ppl down.


The only BAD thing abt this holiday (if you can call it one) is... ...

MY HMK ISNT DONE YET!
URGHHHHH!!
Sure kena left right centre by teachers one. ):


But overall, it was an enjoyable week.
(: THANK YOU.

Tired.
._.

Just reached home after leaving the house at 7 in the morning.
Super tired now.
-dead-

After dance today,
While helping someone to open the dance cupboard..
The table that was blocking the cupboard came flying down, smooshing my big toe.
Urghhh..
The toe is like turning purple now.
Sick..

Watched sister's performance.
Tired.
Hahahha..
But enjoyed every moment of it. :D

Goodnight! (:

HO YEAH! :D
YOU GOT PWNED (:

YES!
I HAVE BOUGHT MY BIBLE.
:DDDDD


And my feet are swellllling.
Gahhhh.
I GOT PWNED BY MY MUM!!!
NOOOOOO

Dance today was TIRING!
Oh gosh.
My feet are swollen after 5 and a half hours of dance.
Pain. ):
Hahahaha..

It's gonna be like that for the next 3 days.
Urgh.
Especially facing a bunch of AP KIAS
who have NO LIFE WHATSOEVER
going around SPAMMING PPL'S BLOGS WITH VULGARITIES
and TALKING LOUDLY DURING DANCE DISTURBING EVERYONE ELSE
and BEING CHILDISH,
CALLING PPL NAMES
and COMING UP WITH STUPID STORIES LIKE BLOWING UP SOMEONE'S BLUE VAN.

I mean, HOW CHILDISH CAN THEY GET?

APing seniors was a taboo when i was sec one.
I was freakin scared of my seniors until i didnt even dare to talk back to them.
I didnt even dare to joke with them.

Now, they even dare to SCOLD their seniors.
Like (excuse the vulgarities but that's what they said) kanina.. Bitch etc.

Isnt the batch now terribly sad and PATHETIC?

I mean, you all have a really bad attitude.
And you blame us for being biased against you all.
PATHETIC SPOILT BRATS.

That's why we torture you. :D
And it gives me great pleasure to pump you
EVERY SINGLE DANCE PRACTICE FROM NOW TILL I STEP DOWN.
I'll be stepping down anyway.
So, who cares whether i get complains by parents? *rolls eyes*

You can call me a biatch or whatever..
But I DONT CARE! WOOTS!

If im frustrated or what..
A-pumping you all will get. (:

Unless you all d-bla or whatever you call yourselves change your attitudes, dont expect me not to be biased against you. :DD
AND!
If you cont AP-ing me..
THE MORE I'LL TORTURE YOU.
Direct variation.
Simple. (:

OH YAYYYYY!!!!!!!
I AM GOING FOR HIGH TEA AT RITZ CARLTON/FULLERTON NEXT/NEXT NEXT WEEK!!
WOOOOOOOOTS~

Hahhaa.
Super highness. (:






And if I need a rhythm
Gonna be to my heart I listen
Ramalama Bang Bang
Flash Bang Big Bang
Bing Bong Ding Dong Dum Dum Do Dum

4C ROCKS!
WE OWN!!!!


Most of our CA results were like..
Cut by half?

All those ppl who thought that 3C/4C was hopeless..
HAH! BITE MY DUST! (:

MOODY AGAIN! ):



Hate feeling down.

And oh gosh do i hate my juniors. (Dont ask.)
I am so close to just.. URGH.



Sigh. Dont know whether should still go UK. ):

Mood now: ):


Watched Cheung Cheng Main vs Ngee Ann bball finals just now.
CCHMS won! :D
After so long in AHS, this is the first time i've stayed to watch an entire bball match.
*pats own back*
Another thing done before i leave AHS.

OOH! UK TRIP!
EVERYONE can go now! :DD
Yayyyyy!!!!!
But the price is like..
$2898. O.O
$$$$$$$$$

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alot of ppl have a super wrong impression now.
We are just friends.
Seriously. There's nothing going on between us.
Words hurt, harm, and destroy.


i wont forget all the ones that i love
though it's not easy to tell you goodbye

Hahha seriously guys, im not so despo over him! x))
Im just FAHUACHIING over him. :D


Founder's Day. *rolls eyes*
Nothing much to say.
Well, let's just say that i've changed my bday to today too.. sooo...


HAPPY BDAY TO ME! and all those who changed their bdays to today too. X)
Im 16! WOOTS! Hhahhaha lol (obviously this is just to suan something.. (:)

It was quite waste time though,
BUT! They estimated us to end at around 4.30pm..
We ended at 3.30pm! :DD
Hahahhaha! Happyness.

But of course, in a happy day, there are of course,
Depressing moments. ):
Our trip to UK may not be able to commence.
The criteria to go is that you must be able to:
- pass your 2006 EOYs
- pass every subj of your 2007 CA1
- have a good discipline record
- have no impt CCA sessions during the duration of the trip

And i passed every criteria! *pats own head*
Which means im a goodie-two-shoes ._.
BLEAH.
The thing is....

My friends who are accompanying me on this trip are not exactly "GOODIE-TWO-SHOES".
): So im afraid of going there alone..
Or worse! with the sec threes *rolls eyes*
Hopefully Ms Cheong *blink blink* will loosen the criteria so that all of them can go..
AND WE ALL CAN HAVE FUN! :D

Super moodswing today.
Happy to Tired to Emo to Inspired to Tired to Happy to Emo.

Byebye ppl... ...


With shadows I spend it all
My heart and I have decided to end it all

ZOE DIDNT COME SCH TODAY! )):
Take care and get well soon girl. :DD

Kept coughing like crazy today.
Couldnt even talk properly without coughing every 30 sec.
Didnt even form a coherant paragraph. ):

And..
THANKS TO ESTEE FOR LISTENING TO WHAT'S BEEN BUGGING ME FOR A LONG LONG TIME. (:
It didnt seem like it was a huge problem when i told you,
But it's been pulling at my heart for a long time now.

Feeling EMO now leh!
Hhahaha.. Must be the meds. (:
GOODNIGHT! and GOODBYE!

Posting lesser than usual..
Which is a GOOD THING. :D

4C outing yesterday! Went to Mr Ong's house. ((:
In the morning i went out and watched The Pursuit Of Happyness, which is such a FREAKIN' NICE SHOW. :DD
It's basically abt this dude who got poor cos he was dumb and invested in a stupid thing, and he got rich cos he finally became SMART by becoming a stockbroker!! :DD
-the end-
Hahhaha lol.

I estimated the show to end around 3.30pm, so i could rush down to Tanah Merah and pick the ppl who were meeting me up,
But, the show ended at 4pm. ._.
So i called Tabby and she agreed to bring them there first.
THANKS TABBY!

I met Bryan Yeo at the MRT there cos he was late too.
Then, we got lost on the way to Mr Ong's house.
LOL. Walked for around... ... 15? 20 min?
Haahha.

When we finally got there, i changed and jumped into the pool.

Then, BBQ! :DD
I ate very little cos my throat pain. )):
Just sat around.
Afterwards, we were listening to Jay Chou songs in the rain..
And then i thought of Chiang Rai.
Felt super sad. ))):

We lo-heied.. THEN SWIM AGAIN!
LOL.
I heard the story abt a maid who drowned in the pool and got kinda freaked out.
Didnt dare to swim to the other end of the pool which was 2.5m. xDD

Alot of ppl kena ponded.. EXCEPT ME!
I got pulled in cos i was trying to be a nice person.
(It doesnt pay to be nice)

Slacked.. Talked around..
And then, went home!
Such a fun day, the funnest in a long long time. :D
THANK YOU 4C! I LOVE YOU GUYS! :D

I'll post more pictures up next time!
Time to study!
Byebye! :DD

Ada
Aloysius
Anavil
Ashley
Aurial

Benedict
Binghao

Caleena
Chen Yu
Cheng Jun
Cheryl
Chia Hong
Ching Hui
Chong Ning
Clarice
Crystal Chan
Crystal Lim

Daryl
Doreen
Dorita

Edison Ang
Edison Neo
Elisa
Eloise
Eqa
Estee
Eunice

Fariz
Fionna
Fiqah
Frederick

Glenn
Graci
Guoxiang

Han Lu
Hannah
Heng Xin
Hui Juan
Hui Ling
Hui Min
Hui Yin
Huiyi

Inggrid
Isabel

Jason
Jessie
Jian Wen
Jing Hiang
Jie Si
Jingting
Jingyi
Joel (Council)
Joel Lock
Joey (Pub)
Johannes
Jolene
Jonathan Goh
Joween
Jun
Junle
Jun Hao
Junni

Karen
Kaikai
Kewei
Kun Wei

Leonard
Louisa
Lucienne

Melissa (Dance)
Melissa
Melissa Hoong
Mellissa
Miaoqian
Michael Xu
Min Hui
Ming Hui and Germaine

Natty
Nien Yuan
Nigel

Phoebe
Priscillia

Rebecca Wee
Reuben

Sabrina
Samantha
Samuel
Serene (Dance)
Serene (Pub)
Sharmaine
Shawn
Shiya
Shu En
Shuyi
Sihui
Sock Ling
Solana
Swan Yee

Tabitha
Tiffany

Velvarie
Viviana

Wee Peng
Wei Ling
Wei Sheng
Wen Bin
Wey Jian
Willie

Xin Yi
Xin Zi

Ya Jing
Ya Qi
Yee Wei
Yeo Liting
Yi Ling
Yiyee

Yuhua
Ysabel

Zheng Han
Zheng Yi
Zhilin
Zhixin
Zhou Yang
Zoe



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