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♥ Thursday, August 24, 2006
8:31 PM

fly me to the moon
and let me play, among the stars*
in other words please be true
in other words I love you

Heyyy..
I've not been feeling well lately. ):
Dunno why i can NEVER concentrate in class anymore like i used to.
It's either my mind, or it's my contacts.
But either way.. BLEAH.

The teacher's day dance is going quite well, but quite badly too.
Dance Society really has NO DISCIPLINE at all.
It's kinda getting on my nerves.
Mingsy was SSSOO frustrated that she shouted at them today.
RARRRRR.
I was wondering how she could tolerate this kind of thing for so long.

I suddenly feel that my life is a total wreck.
Nothing's going right for me at all.

(1) STUDIES - Im failing every frigging thing that im starting to become desperate. I try to start studying again but i just put my mind to it. I dont know why.. DISTRACTIONS. WEAK WILLPOWER. In anyway, it's just giving my life HELL.

(2) DANCE - Im trying to help minghui make dance a better place.. more disciplined. But, it's not working and both of our patiences are wearing out. It used to be inch by inch, but now, it's metre by metre and the thread is already frayed and about to break.

(3) COUNCIL - When i was in sec 1 and 2 it was always a dream to be in council. I am fortunate to be able to get in in sec 3, unlike some ppl who dont even have the chance to fulfill their hope even though it's their last opportunity. But, sometimes i really feel that getting in, and not getting in, doesnt really make a difference. So what if you get a tie? So what if you get new uniform? A blazer? A tie-pin? A comm and a council room? Does that matter? Your duties are like this puny, and there's nothing much for you to do. It's kind of, a useless thing to get in in sec 3. Im slightly regretting, and hopefully i can really just change my mindset soon.

(4) HEALTH - My knee is killing me. My rashes are killing me. My eyes are making me irritated. My wrist is giving me problems. My "feet arches" are hurting in a weird way. I think im dying soon. ):


Urghh.
Sometimes i feel like giving up totally.
Like, wont it be nice if you could just go home every day and sleep?
Isnt that the way your life should be?
So pure and beautiful?

I was looking forward to inititation camp.
Now, i dont know.
I dont think i will ever enjoy anything in council.
My friends are all different from me.
That's why.